Chapter 10: Sandman Saturdays

Exit light.
Enter night.
Take my hand,
Off to never never land.

March 7, 2009, Saturday, I was at the Skunk Studio somewhere in Pasig, Kapitolyo which was a 25-minute drive from Ateneo. It was almost 3:00 pm at the time and I was sitting inside the small and cramped up room. It was lighted with dimmers all around its corners and the whole place was quiet, which would be good if ever one needed time and space alone.

Well it was not really quiet. I was just deep in thought that I forgot all about the all-hail-the-almighty-mega-amplifier Kris was using and the cymbals and the toms and the double bass pedals Ayo was hitting on the drum kit. Primarily, I was there because Kris, and Ayo, his Western History classmate, had me sing their group project. They made this metal song about Rome versus Carthage and I was to growl the nine minutes of its entirety.

I jumped back to my thoughts after Kris asked me if I was okay. In fact, I was just reflecting about the 28th of February, exactly a Saturday ago, wherein the three of us in a band temporarily called My Chemical Romans (as an insult to Emo people) were still having a jam and practice session for the song we later produced as 'Catomania.'

It was around 1:00 pm when Kris and I arrived at Ayo's place. We immediately started working on the song for the second and the last time since Ayo had to leave at 2:30 and that the deadline of the project was coming in fast. They worked on the transitions and shifts in progressions and time signatures of the riffs and fills of the song while I tried to fit the lyrics they had and thought of how it would be delivered through death metal growling. As planned, we finished the ordeal at 2:30 pm and Kris and I went back to Ateneo to attend an AMP recital.

It was 3:00 pm flat when we entered the backstage of the Henry Lee Irwin theater. I was not supposed to be there because I was not an AMP member and the whole of AMP was still organizing and preparing for the show on that evening. Anyway, we met Rups, a bassist and at the same time our favorite drinking buddy, just as we entered. He grabbed the two of us and dragged us towards the stage for us to see the instruments and the guys who were playing them.

I was to watch the recital called 'Talaarawan' (diary) since Bianca had me buy a ticket. She was handling the PR department of the AMP recital back then so I was to see the fruits of her labor. Besides, some friends invited me to come over as well.

The moment Kris and I stepped down from the left stairs of the stage, we instantly noticed Ken, with a band mate whom I recall as someone named Paolo, sitting on the front row. Kris sat with them and took another seat for his guitar to rest on. There was only one remaining seat but when was about to take it, Ken suddenly interfered and said,

"Why are you seating here? You're not supposed to sit here. You're supposed to sit at the back," he said while pointing to the row of seats just behind him.

I looked to see why he was asking me to sit over there. So I trailed my vision from the first row, around the aisle, and then to the second row. Voila, when I was about to pick my ass a seat I saw Bianca seated on the first chair of the second row.

"Fucker," I told Ken. He would not let me sit with them so I got to get moving.

My brains fucked up for a second or two when I realized that the one sitting behind Bianca was Ian. He was smiling at me. I moved towards him but he immediately told me Ken's very lines I received just a moment ago, but this time, he made sure that Bianca heard what he was saying.

Since I did not drop a hello or something when I passed by Bianca, I moved over to the fourth row of seats and took the one just behind Ian. I know she noticed me even when I was still at the stage but stupid I was at the time I did not try to talk to her because 'I-wanted-to-keep-my-fucking-distance.' I kept talking to Ian though because I had to get my ass entertained to kill boredom. But when we were in the middle of a music and academic-related conversation, Bianca turned around and simply said,

"Hello, Mike."

I had enough of my self-asshole mode so I moved beside Ian to get a better talk with her. I couldn't resist 'cause she was goddamn beautiful at that time; well she always was. Her block mate Anton Magno came over and sat beside her though so the talk was interrupted for a while. Shortly afterwards, all those who were going to perform were called so that they could be told their final reminders. Ken, Kris, Paolo, Anton and Ian left, leaving only the two of us, Bianca and me, behind.

I moved beside her because I don't want her turning around and around every second. We had a great time and this opportunity was certainly a lot better compared to the 17th of February. This one, we were more open towards each other and everything was going well as if there were no hints of sadness and regrets about all the things we've talked upon during last week of February.

I loved her. I won't be able to find someone like her again in this goddamn world.

When we were talking I noticed the Anton guy looking at our direction. For a moment I thought he was going to throw me out of the theater for daring to sit beside Bianca. Ian was repeatedly giving me the thumbs up though. And Ken and Kris smiled whenever they chanced to glance by my direction.

When all AMP members were gathered, I sneaked out of the theater. It was 6:00 pm and I saw Cathy, an English classmate who sat right beside Jeimi, come down from the lights room. She said she wanted to eat although AMP members weren't allowed to go out anymore. We went out anyway and I brought her to McDonald's, my ever-favorite hang out place, and we had dinner. I talked about Bianca all the time though and Cathy had a good free taste of my entertainment. We purchased snacks at 7-11 and then we were off back to the theater again.

That's when I checked my phone and I saw that Bianca phoned me I think twice and she left me three text messages saying she was sorry she had to leave by my side when we were still in the theater because they were asked to be briefed. It was totally fine by me actually.

For some reason, when I got in the theater and the show was almost starting, I found a seat up front together with my friends, Aran, Lester, and Kris. The best thing with this was that I was sitting right beside Bianca. What the fuck? I did not really expect to find her but then there was an empty seat beside her and I took that chance.

I really enjoyed the evening although I kind of screwed up because I kept on telling Kris, who was seated next to me too, that Bianca was beautiful and I loved her and the same banana when all her friends were seated all around us. Pretty cool shit, eh?

I got to hang out with her at McDonald's at around 11:00 pm when the recital finished. It was a good show of bands but what really amazed me was Bianca's smile when she was happy about the recital as a whole.

We got a long table since many friends came along; all were guys though and Bianca was the only girl. There was Daniel, Aran, Lester, Kris, and Ken, and then the two of us. They weren't going to the after party and they'd rather have a chill night out.

I did treat Bianca with a cup of McFlurry. We both liked it, especially me, because every time I go to McDo I order one.

She was fetched at 11:30 pm and I could not walk her to her car else she's going to be 'killed' by her family. The guys went out playing Rockband™ after that but I opted to go home and have a good sleep for the rest of the evening although I so wanted to drink. I commuted home.

I've been thinking of her all the way to my room.

Even until that 7th of March. So it was my turn to record the vocals. It was nothing grand, really. It was a 15-minute run on growling and everything else was fine. Kris brought me home yet again after that but we had a meal at Ministop first.

It was 10:00 pm when I phoned Bianca. I was still at Kris' car at the time and I checked to see if she was enjoying her party. I was supposed to be at Kryptonight with her but I had to be at the studio. I dropped the idea of going to my organization's prom that same evening because it was late, and Bianca told me too that she couldn't come because I only told her about the event 3 days before when she has already planned for her party. She was not prepared yet, I remembered her explaining. If it would have been on an earlier note she would've came along with me on the prom.

Half a phone ring and,

"Hello."

"Hi Bianca. Hmmm, I thought you were going to the party? And that it's going to start at 9? Why is it quiet over there?" I noticed that she was in a really quiet place, too quiet that it might not even be a restroom at the party.

"Oh, I'm still at my place, preparing..."

"I see. Kris and I just finished the recording of our song. I'm sorry I couldn't go because my mom just wouldn't allow me. I'll make up for it next time."

"How about your prom?"

"I won't be going too. I texted a block mate and he said it would be over by 11:30 or 12:00 so there'd be no point of catching up at this time."

"Uhm, okay..."

"Have a great night Bianca. Take care," I cut in before she could say anything else.

"Thanks Mike, you too. Good night!" she sweetly responded.

"Buhbye!"

"Bye."

I hoped guys of 18 years of age especially me had a Sandman that would sprinkle sand over my eyes and put me to sleep. I've had enough of sleepless nights.

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