Chapter 22: The Devil Lock

Let me clear some things first before continuing. I know you've been pretty much confused by how things have been going inside my mind.

1.) There was never an 'us.'
2.) We're just friends. I just treat her extra special.
3.) I stress on very common and normal things, making them look special too.
4.) Shit happens.
5.) I was divided among choices - of pursuing her or not, or whatever.

I wasn't able to make the choice from the very beginning and so the choice made me. That doesn't make me any better than a fool making a fool of himself thinking that doing so is not foolish at all. Does that make us all fools choosing over foolish choices? Would we fool the beginning by choosing the end? Or would we rather have the beginning and the end as one? Making fools and choices as one too in the process?

You see, the world revolves in beginnings and ends formed by fools and choices. The sequence of such phenomenon does not digress a single bit from this linear occurrence - everything begins and ends - which is an inevitably irreversible natural process that is further subrogated by a cycle where 1.) the fool, who is a fool in the first place, makes a choice that does not change anything, or 2.) the choice makes the fool a true fool which does not change anything too, rendering the whole cycle foolishness.

This happens, always.

Optimists tell you that this is complete bullshit. To tell you the truth, optimists are actually the epitome of the word 'bullshit.'

Put it this way. Have a male optimist and a male pessimist sit on a bench in a park or something and let a really hot dream girl they've been thinking of pass in front of them together with her boyfriend and then compare side by side what the two would be saying.

Pessimist: That girl is hot, man. Damn she has a boyfriend already. Oh well.

Optimist: That girl is hot man, Damn she has a boyfriend already. But because I am an optimist as opposed to the sucker right beside me I'd prefer to think that she and I are going to be one someday.

Kindly analyze the fucking difference.

When you plainly read those, it can be directly concluded that the pessimist, as his title suggests, was thinking highly negative by blurting out a totally hopeless statement. That is why I'd like to call them the 'fucked ones.' On the other hand, the optimist belong to what we technically call the 'fuckers.' Why is that?

The pessimist satisfies himself with the reality that he'd have no chance on the dream girl. He contents himself with that. That's just fine if we let him be a certified sucker as he is. But the optimist, I mean the fucker, is thinking highly negative and conjuring it as something positive. Here is a possibility: he is subconsciously wishing, or hoping for that matter (well he may just be putting it that way when he is completely aware of what he is wishing for and its consequences), that the hot dream girl would break up with her boyfriend someday. That's when he gets his chance. That is what we call 'evil' ladies and gentlemen.

So actually, the certified sucker is much better compared to this fucker optimist that's a branded asshole since birth.

Oh shit. I got you there twit. Think positive, huh? Well, think again. Here's something for the fuckers out there: think before you think positive, fucker.

My friend, Elena, who I constantly bullied ever since I've known her, once said,

"Pessimists are what ruin the world."

Well, the real fuckers ruin the world. The pessimists are just fools left with no choices because they chose to do so. The optimists are left with choices however but they opt to make a fool of themselves simply because they wanted to but would never admit it. Fucking gay shit if you ask me.

In summary, the pessimists are worthless creatures that make this planet stink as it is while the optimists are the worst stench that make this planet stink even more. That makes them all fuckers which consequently dooms them to be the fucked ones in the end. These optimists and pessimists are good-for-nothing mortals that passionately fuck themselves with hopes and dreams. They have something in common though. They do suffer the same fate; it's just that they choose the form of their suffering - the pessimist proving himself to be a certified sucker, and the optimist a fucker... To himself.

The world is ruined from the very beginning and it won't be foolish to choose to end it, or rather, by choosing to end the ruin of this world you begin your own foolishness thereby ruining your own world yielding no actual difference. Effort is futile indeed.

The whole of humankind is cursed from the very beginning, dreaded by themselves and doomed upon themselves. This is what I'd like to call,

'The Devil Lock.'

Of course I'm kidding. If you actually believed that shit you're really fucked, man. It is quite evident that the whole argument above is actually one-sided. And that is what the close-minded seal themselves with - they propose a biased duality as a truth and that nothing is ever going out of that box forever. The true truth however is that there is no box.

Everything goes.

The point is, up until now I've just been arguing with myself. I just miss Bianca.

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