Chapter 4: Jingle Bells

I learned from Angel, a former block mate who shifted to a different course, and who at the same time was an English and PE classmate, that she's taking the same Science class with Bianca. I realized then that if I did not alter my History class schedule and if I did alter my Science class slot, I could have been classmates with Bianca for three subjects - which equates to Bianca five times a week. Oh man.

During these times everything was just superficial. I'm just fooling around since I know I could not get any closer to this girl and that I don't even know if I'm feeling the right thing or whatnot towards her. As far as I know it was just a plain crush.

I started to notice her around school, like for example, I happened to pass by Xavier hall during one Tuesday noon because I had a free cut for my PE class and there she was, waiting for her driver. I got to chat with her for a short while at that time because we both had our first History long test that same day. We had the same teacher and the same History course; we only differ in the time slot. It was a blissful moment talking to her nevertheless and I thanked Jasper, a high school classmate, for walking me around Xavier hall else I could not have gotten the chance of juggling my balls.

I usually had lunch with Ken and Jasper, and the two other guys have always been talking about a certain Karen whom I referred to as 'Miss K' before, which was a classmate of mine in two subjects and each of them having her as a classmate on one.

As for me, I only talked about Bianca Arcega. They told me anyway that they tried to stalk her before after having the chance of seeing her on one AMP (Ateneo Musician's Pool) meeting. Ever since I informed them that Bianca was my classmate they seemed to be always willing to walk me to my English class. We continued our talk anyway and the discussion they had went something like this-

"Bullshit, I can't find Bianca's Multiply site. Does she even have one?"

"I tried searching her on her block mate's contacts list. No goddamn trace..."

"What if you type her name on the Multiply search bar?"

"Stupidest idea I've ever heard, you fuckhole. Where is your fucking brain!?!"

"How about asking that block mate Anton Magno straight up?"

"Just... Ah shit. Kindly fuck off please?"

"Nah, I found her Friendster before, but still that wasn't good enough. No fucking content!"

"As if that's going to help."

"Ever tried Google? That's the basic step. Haha."

"How about you try giving up?"

"What the fuck? She's a beauty, a hidden one."

"She has a Facebook account, morons, so most likely she has a Multiply account," I occasionally blurted out in the middle of their argument since I tried searching her once at Facebook. I did not add her up though since we weren't really friends but mere acquaintances. Besides I still did not had the guts to do so back then, and if ever I did so, it would all be too fishy adding up an acquaintance on Facebook. What would that be for? -- Simple stalking.

I've seen her during Saturdays too. Whenever I'm having lunch with my block mates I always had this alibi tour around the cafeteria. I always invite a block mate, Japs, to walk with me to buy a can of coke or a glass of cold coffee or whatever - just to have the mere opportunity of surveying the faces of the cafeteria in the hope of detecting my goddess. Aloha! I saw her once sitting on a table next to ours. I think she saw me since she kept looking at my direction, perhaps wondering if she'd be having the chance of saying a small hello. But then, rowdy my guy block mates were, who also kept on looking at her, I just dropped the idea of approaching her.

Those assholes, I could've starred my ass. But no, one block mate of mine named Marco even stood up and walked a little distance to have a good look at Bianca for 5 seconds. He returned to his seat which was just behind Bianca's and made sure that everyone heard his in-depth analysis and comprehensive comments about the girl. Fucking cunt.

I later knew that these Saturday lunch breaks of hers would be with her block mates too. Oh well. I cannot grab those opportunities unless I'd be willing to risk being shamed in front of many people. In times like this, I needed a better technique.

This girl-radar attitude is quite normal for guys. I mean, we do it all the time. It's just that, Bianca started to earn a higher priority for me and a better signal on my radar. For some odd reason, I started to change too. I saw that she was a really nice person, and as I've known her so far she is a good girl. I started to delve into this good side of mine with respect to my goal of being at least a friend to her. That was a total 'wow' because I never believed that such a thing could happen to me - change.

If it wasn't Ken and Jasper, or Japs, or other close friends I'm sharing my hopeless case story, it would always be Andz and Nikka. They're in a really good relationship and they always tried to tip me on how to approach a girl like Bianca. There's also Kevin Pua who was always there for me for reasons only the two of us knew.

My life then was an ultimate combo of Bianca + Bianca + Bianca + Successful History long test + Bianca + Bianca + Successful Accounting long test + Bianca + Bianca + Bianca + Science killer test + Bianca + Bianca + Hangout moments with Ken and Jasper + SEC walk happiness + Bianca + Everything else + Bianca. God, that was eerily scary. If I were Bianca I would've been frightened to my panties. I realized however that I had no intention but goodness towards her. I simply wanted to be friends. That's all. Trust me, I'm a guy. I tell the truth.

I've also been sharing this infatuation with Ian and Angel too. So really, the world knows my side of the story. Hers however remained a mystery to me.

Some time in December we had this little library tour for our English class. I was looking at her all the time and Vince and Mikko were always behind me, trying to tip me where to position myself to have the optimal view of Bianca's beauty. Those moments, I was still unsure if I should approach her or not. After the tour though, Mrs. Oblepias gave a free time for the remaining minutes of the period for us to finalize the reference cards we were going to submit that day.

I saw Bianca leaving the library and walking towards ma'am who was sitting on a bench right across the entrance of the building. I walked Bianca there and that was an opportunity because I got to talk to her for a whole minute. She told me her driver's still on the way so she had to hang around. Our conversation was just simple and a little pointless to tell the truth. I really had nothing to say and I was blabbing shit about how stressful English was. She kept on agreeing though and she was cute while doing so; but still, we were shy towards each other. Well, awkward.

When she left, she looked back. I looked at her, but a stupid guy I was I didn't walk with her to Xavier. I walked on another direction - towards McDonald's. I didn't have the guts to approach her again. Vince and Mikko were shouting at me,

"Shit man, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Nah, it's fine. Besides, it's too early. I should not be walking her... Yet," I answered back before I left., not knowing if I should be regretting things or what.

It was roughly 5:20-5:30 pm of December 19, 2008 when I saw her leave the cafeteria. I immediately ran after her leaving my friends behind. I guessed it right that she was on her way to Xavier hall to be picked up. When I caught up with her,

"Bianca!"

"Hey!"

We were walking at a rapid pace because she was in a hurry. I just asked about the progress of her English paper, a paper which killed us with the artistic art of making lots and lots of bibliography shit. At the end of it all, I asked her where she's headed.

"Uhm, Xavier, I'm going home..."

"Ah, I see. I'm still going to find my lost... pen... at Kostka. I think I left it there..." I replied.

Pen my fucking ass, Mike. What a really terrible and lame excuse to walk her towards Xavier. Anyway, I didn't really walk her there. I said a goodbye when we were nearing Kostka where I'm supposed to find my 'lost pen' for shit's sake.

"Merry Christmas!" she called back at me when she glanced where I was going. Shit man. That was sweet. How can I forget to greet her? It's the holidays already Santa balls.

"Merry Christmas too!" I shouted back at her. Then in a split second she was gone. Her petite silhouette moved behind a wall and I simply dropped by the restroom to talk to myself in front of the mirror, when I was supposed to, as I mentioned, find my fake fucking pen.

"Why are your balls jingled, Mr. Knucklehead?"

Of course, not literally.

I walked back to the cafeteria afterwards and I told to my friends the short misadventure of Mr. Mike Acosta. There were many things that happened later on that night, like my brother's Christmas party at the Ateneo High School, which was a walking distance, and me and my uncle blasting our way to an eat-all-you-can/buy-what-you-can stall-hopping in front of the Church of Gesu, and Joseph, a high school classmate, giving me a set of books to read which are all about God as a Christmas gift, and Chantal-Denise, a friend from the University of the Philippines coming over to Ateneo with some friends for a drinking session, and so on and so forth.

The one to take note of was Bianca's small Merry Christmas that was all too precious. It was the best Christmas gift I had so far. Whatever. I almost died because I missed seeing her all throughout the Christmas break.

Happy new year, jingled ball.

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