Chapter 23: Rebirth

June 16, 2009.

Around 9:10 am Bianca and I were exchanging calls checking to see where to look out for each other. She just finished her first class for her first day of classes and I was still on my way to Ateneo with her over-delayed birthday gift.

"Mike, where are you? I'm already here at Gonzaga, right in front of the chapel," she phoned me since I dropped the previous call because of the choppy connection.

"I'm almost there!" I answered quickly since Gonzaga hall was already in sight from my dad's car.

In a minute I opened The Isuzu Alterra's door, stepped down, waved at Bianca and signaled her to wait for a moment, and then brought out my backpack and the gift bag I wished to give to her. And in no time I was already standing right in front of her, smiling. And as I've said before, I don't smile. Bianca's just an exception.

The moment we looked eye to eye, she said,

"What happened to your hair!?"

"It grew. I still couldn't decide with Kris if it should be a devil lock or a totally long hair. Anyway..." I continued while reaching out the Blue Magic gift bag to her, "Here, happy birthday!"

"Haha it's late, But still, thanks!"

The moment I saw her smile, I couldn't help myself but have my eyes closed and bite my lip and look at the sky and praise the Lord Alleluia. As usual I'm over-describing things. I couldn't express my happiness by any means but to smile and look at Bianca satisfied.

She then introduced me to her friend, Bea (who Danya used as a threat to me whenever I bully her), who was with her as a witness to my GG epic win. Our talk was not that long since Bianca told me they were going to hang out and things seemed that I don't have any more business to do with them so I left in a short while. I went to the AMP bench to meet up with some Ateneo friends.

Bianca was very beautiful at that time, way more beautiful than before.

Bad news: I didn't get to look at Bianca very well because my fucking hair was in the way. So fuck my hair. Other than that, we're cool.

You see, the devil lock has locked my sight from Bianca. Not just literally of course, but in a figurative way too - just as what I described the chapter before. I am a pessimist. I'd never win her heart. No, put it this way. I'm just trying to be real. She is definitely out of my league and she'll always be.

I bought a can of coke at the cafeteria, as I always do every single school day, and then went straight to the AMP bench. As soon as I arrived, Kris, Brian and Ralph Aguinaldo were already there. I had a good talk with the guys which was interrupted when Bianca passed by and had a little chat with someone at the bench before leaving, consequently leaving me stunned in the process.

She waved at me though and she was smiling. I love that girl.

Oh and by the way, I've requested Anton Magno to watch over her and keep her safe when I'm gone. Dude, if ever you read this, stick that to your mind. Haha. I'm trusting you Anton.

At around 10:00 am Brian and I went with Kris to Gonzaga hall (the spot where I handed Bianca the gift bag) to accomplish a mission - intercepting Jeimi to say a little 'hi.' We failed though - Brian had classes, Jeimi didn't seem to pass by our spot, and I had to leave for McDonald's because Rups and Chantal have been looking for me.

After a Crispy Chicken Sandwich and a Coke Zero merienda, Rups and I went to Kalayaan College and we were late for our first class by 15 minutes.

Wait, what? Kalayaan College? Oh yes. The 1st of June, mom asked me to withdraw my application at FEU because she considered it to be too far from home even though I had a merit scholarship opportunity. I followed her order although it got me a little pissed because I had to do the whole application processing shit all over again right from the very beginning, and this time it was way more stressing.

I shifted to Kalayaan College knowing that there were many fellow Ateneans over there and I thought of joining the bandwagon. The school was actually pretty decent and I'd say I'd be enjoying my stay there for quite some time. And yes, maybe I could start my new life.

I should start my Renaissance.

It already began the moment I saw Bianca.

I had my lunch break at Ateneo as well since Kalayaan College was only one train ride away, and that we don't have a goddamn cafeteria there. Besides, I might chance to see Bianca around, but no. I just enjoyed my Chicken Hainanese with Rups and Brian at SEC walk.

When Rups and I left Ateneo we happened to see Jeimi walking up the stairs of the foot bridge right in front of Ateneo Gate 2.5. We were to descend the opposite flight of stairs but the moment I saw her I stopped on my tracks. When Jeimi looked up to see who was standing by, she smiled. It was a really lucky coincidence since Rups and I were to leave Katipunan and we just chanced to see Jeimi walking out of National Book Store. We only had a short chat since Rups and I had to go immediately.

We were late again; this time for the second class. When we were dismissed I received a text message from Bianca and she was asking if I was still in Ateneo. It was 4:00 pm and I replied,

"On my way."

She said she just wanted to thank me. As much as I'd like to go see her, I couldn't because she had to go to her last class for the day which started around 4:30 pm. I just went home instead. I texted her around 6 pm asking how her day went but I received no reply.

June 17, 2009. 12:20 am. I texted her a good night message and I told her I hoped she liked the gift I gave her. She replied around 12:47. I was in bed when I was reading the text message and I was holding my Sun mobile phone with my right hand and positioned it in front of my face.

"Yeah. It's sweet of you to even drop it at school. :-)"

After I read the message, I flipped my phone closed and left the keypad locked, placed it by my head pillow beside my Globe phone, and went to sleep.

I woke up at 7:00 am because my class will start at 10:00 am. When we were dismissed, Rups and I went to Katipunan. Rups was to go to UP and meet up with Chantal and I was to go to Ateneo and hangout with Kris since I had nothing to do. Instead of going to Ateneo though, I saw my block mates at McDonald's so I opted to sit down with them and have lunch. Just before they left for their respective classes, Marco and Ken sat with me.

All in all it was a good day. I'm going to miss Ateneo. I'm going to miss Katipunan.

I once wished I'd experience failure. I was an excellent student back in grade school but I was inspired by my high school classmates to sit back a little bit and just relax. They introduced me to the truth that everything is going to be just fine. But, as an adventure, I exceeded what most wouldn't dare - failing. And now that I've experienced it I'm in no state to regret everything I've done that caused this fall.

Failure is a success in itself. Failure defines success. Without failure, there is no success in this world. And proving that reality to myself is one step ahead to the real world. This in turn has already banished the devil lock from my mind, or rather, it has unlocked the devil within me. Sounds confusing, eh?

Perhaps I should get a haircut soon.

I am a pessimist. I'd never win Bianca's heart. No, put it this way and try to be real - she is out of my fucking league - but it doesn't matter now. All I care about is making sure that she is infinitely...

Loved.

-----
[END]